Putting Yourself Out There...

Ok, so I publish this blog, and I make things for friends. But I have never really, really put myself 'out there'. You know, opened myself up for any sort of criticism, judgement, or worse: rejection! Well, when an occasion presented itself to enter an artwork for a competition that seemed relatively safe (ie: I knew some of the people and they were nice - read 'gentle'!), one had to suck it up and give it a go.

Deciding to enter was the easiest part!

The scope of the competition was: any media/mixed media (including poetry etc, but you can see how amazing I am with words.... not a strength!) portraying a 'Joan of Arc' inspired theme, particularly women and spiritual strength. (I am paraphrasing excessively here; but this was the gist of my interpretation of the scope!) I love all the ideas of women fighting and being strong (my name means Female Warrior, would you believe!), but for me at the moment - because we are always on a changing journey as we grow; there are a couple of verses that are mine, for this season in my life.

The first is Isaiah 30:15

In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.

And the second, Micah 6:8

And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

There have been times in my life, and will be again, when I am 'fired up' and in more of a 'fighting' kind of mood. Right now, I LOVE resting in the Lord. I could tell you how amazing He is to me, but that would take forever. But it is in Him I find my identity, so to try and interpret a scope (especially a spiritual scope!) apart from where I find myself spiritually, doesn't lead me to inspiration. And who wants to paint when they are not inspired? Not that I am saying this is an especially inspired work! It is not a theme I would have chosen myself and that is good, because it forces me to be more creative, allows me an opportunity to detach myself a little - not be so emotionally attached, relax, and give it a go! So I did....!

The verse I could not get out of my head was Psalm 91:11; For He will give His angels charge concerning you, to guard you in all your ways. Essentially, He has our backs. No matter how tired I am, He lifts me up and fights for and with me. That is awesome.

Anyway, onto the actual painting bit!

I'll show you the finished product first. I had an opportunity to name my work - Whaaaaa?? Only 'real' artists do that?!?! I went with 'Untitled', as it happens, as I had NO IDEA what to call it! (I have a great pic for that- see at the bottom!) And though I am acting all brave sprouting in front of the computer, I really hope you like it!

The idea was that the angel is protecting the girl - I used a young woman/girl because a) Joan of Arc was a young woman, and b) the idea of youth has a vulnerability to it. I wanted it to be an interpretation of a stained glass window, full of vibrant colour. I love colour.... I used so many mediums because I wanted it to shine, giving the impression of a heavenly vision, and clean armour that doesn't get damaged in battle (Is 54:17).

I used my husband and daughter as size models! Then drew up a grid on hardboard that had been gessoed.

I missed a few stages... I layered tissue paper over the angel to get some texture and shape. It was really discouraging for a long while because it looked like the angel was going to take the main focus, when I had hoped it would be more in the background. For the blue 'sky' I used a textured paint and a stencil that reminded me of a medieval church. (Borrowed off my lovely cousin xxx). The gold lines on the main figure were to stand out later when I added a metallic tape on top, to give the armour it's shine.... The 'hills' are layered papers, distress inked with a bubble wrap texture, dry brushing and probably something else I have forgotten!

Once I got the tape on the armour I could add some alcohol ink and her hair. It was really hard trying to figure out how to get some light into her hair - what does hair in glass look like?? Then my darling MOTH helped me make a stencil for the banner and text (the milky look above is because I had just added -another- layer of gel medium....). The banner (Songs 2:4 <3) is made with texture paste and tints and is glazed to look like an aged scroll. Whether I achieved that or not I don't mind, because I loved the texture. I could run my hands over this painting for ages! And to me, that is what makes a painting enjoyable. The text, I printed and patiently cut into a stencil.... yes, it was a laborious and painstaking thing to do. But I think it was worth it!  I FINALLY applied the 'lead lighting' lines. They were the last stage that bought the picture together. I am not happy with them! But what could I do by then!??! I used an applicator bottle, and as it warmed it came out unevenly, and in some places there was an air bubble! Grrr! But imperfections - well, just has to add to it, huh? I had to get over that and just hand it in regardless! Over a month of work for nothing? I don't think so!

Two photos to show the light differences and the ink tones on the armour.

Glazes, gel mediums, perfect pearls; don't all show up in photos.

Love glaze!

Love cracks!

Love layers!

More cracks! I think I went through a fair bit of crackle mediums of varying kinds.....!

Lots of gold mediums here, hard to see in the photo.

CRACKS! :)

And just a couple (more) photos in different lights/with/without flash to show the tints etc. Really so much better in 'real life'!.

Love GOLD!

So, am I happy? Meh..... yes and no. Mainly yes. I am so stoked I actually DID it. I don't expect to get a placing - that wasn't the motivation. One good thing though is that I have opted to have it sold via auction at the end of the competition (I couldn't put a reserve on it, not ready for that yet!! Besides when I look at 'The Formula' below, who can afford me!!?!), which means I can tick of a bucket list item: sell a painting!